Thursday, May 10, 2012

Its really inspired me

The viva started exactly 10.31 am on the day i.e. 22 March 2012, opened by Prof G, chair for the viva session, and followed by a brief presentation by myself on the thesis overall objective and the chapters and their respective findings. Soon after, without a further due, I was bombarded with questions after questions from the examiners. The external is from University of Reading, Prof U and the internal is Dr D. And they seemed to be interested with my thesis in about everything!

I could clearly see a lot of scribbles they made on numerous pages of the thesis and they kept going page by page which they have bookmarked and asked me to elaborate, explain, discuss. Answers led to further questions and further answers. For some questions even I myself was doubtful about the answers, but I kept my calm, and tried to make them aware that my thesis is not meant to solve the world problem, it has its specific focus and probably their suggestion/idea could be incorporated in my future research works.

After about two hours and fifty minutes i.e. at about 1.20 pm, I saw they made a quick glance at their watch, and finally stopped asking questions. Dr D then asked me to wait outside for them to discuss their decision. He said in ten minutes they will call me in.

And that was the long 10 minutes I ever wait. I was incredibly nervous and kinda shivering. What I did at that moment was only to recite selawat tafrijiyah again and again. 

Suddenly my Supervisor Prof Hall came, as he was nearby at the pantry room, next to Dr D’s room where I had my viva. He asked “how was it?” my answer was like, “I don’t know Prof, I think for some answers, they may not be satisfied with it, but on overall it was, hmm, fine.” He smiled at me and said something along this line “It’s ok, I don’t think you gonna fail this.” And then he disappeared to his room at the end of the floor.

After a while I heard a sound, and the door of Dr D’s room swung open, and both of the examiners emerged. I was more nervous, why did they not call me in? 

And Dr D dropped the bomb: “Mahyudin, since we opened our session this morning with Prof G as the chair, I think it’s better to have three of us when we announce the result. As now it’s lunch time, you might want to go and have your lunch first, and come back after an hour at 2.30pm, is it ok?” 

I was like “haaaa???? and without thinking I replied “Oh God, this will make me more nervous!” (Prof G exited the viva session early because he had class at 12pm).

Prof U quickly tried to calm me down and said that I don’t have to worry, they already have the decision, only that they need to make it more formal in a proper session with the presence of the viva chair. I felt better but still it didn’t quell my nervous. I was thinking is it gonna be minor or major? I hesitantly nodded, and out they went, and on their way out I could see they dropped by Prof Hall’s room next to the stairs going down to the entrance door.

I returned to my office at the basement. My friends came to me and kept asking about the result. I told them I don’t have the result yet, it will be after 2.30pm. I definitely did not have the appetite to eat at that time, so I called my wife in Malaysia and told her about everything. Midway through the call, suddenly, I saw Prof Hall entered our office, and...

The feeling at that moment was indescribable, I was speechless, I was like dreaming. I felt like to jump and hug him, but ended up only shaking his hands. I was like crying but I held off the tears. In front of everybody in the room, my own supervisor, with whom I had worked ever since I started my PhD, who I can say one of the most understanding and incredibly kind persons I ever met, congratulated me and announced the viva result that I passed with minor correction.

He told me that both the examiners were quite worrying to make me wait longer for the result. He was talking about the corrections that I have to make, but at that time I was still like dreaming. What I clearly heard him when he reminded me not to tell them I already knew the result from him, and when I returned to them at 2.30pm, just pretend not knowing anything. I was like “haha, your are cheeky Prof!” 

But the feeling at that moment was unbelievable. It really makes the ending to my PhD so meaningful and memorable that the news of the viva result was informed to me by none other than my own Supervisor...

On the way to prayer room to perform Zuhur, I called my wife and told her everything. I could feel it that she was crying in joy too, and with Mawaddah in her arms listening to our conversation. My solat Zuhur  was long, and after performing sujud syukur, I returned to Dr D.’s room. 

Don’t ask me how did I react to their announcement of the result, but I think I can safely say they did not know I already knew it. Anyway, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, all paraises be to Him.

rasa mcm nk nangis baca ni. bukan tangis sedih tp tangis syukur. pursue phd is one of my target. insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki teringin jgk nk sambung kt oversea. kawen then paksa laki ikut aku g sambung blaja kt oversea. hihik duk kt johor 4taun pon da rasa terseksa gila, ni kan pulak nk g duk oversea bertahun2. tp xpe sbb tym tu suami ada skali. eh tapi english aku ntah pape, bleh ke nk survive dk oversea? kne bwk dictionary 24hrs la kalo cmtu. xpun before speaking, on google translate n translate ayat siap2. muahahaha pray for me guys!